Following separation: helping the child with the family's transition.

 

During the year following separation, depending upon the child's age, different reactions might be observed. Generally, this will be expressions of feelings of anger, sadness and guilt. These feelings and associated behaviors usually decrease during the second year.

 

Children may feel the need to continually confirm their parents' love, expressing that several times a day, for fear of losing their parents' love. For fear of being abandoned, their own insecurity, their own anxiety, lack of discipline and continued marital conflict.

 

Coparenting golden rules: helping the child following the separation

 

• avoid talking to the child negatively about the other parent, his/her extended family or his/her friends;

• do not suggest, by words or gestures, the child is being disloyal if he/she enjoys being in the company of the other parent;

• be polite when the other parent comes to pick or return the child;

• respect the privacy of the child while he/she is talking on the phone with the other parent;

• support the child by respecting reasonable limits set by the other parent;

• avoid questioning the child about the other parent's activities, friends or income;

• discuss ahead of time visiting arrangements with the other parent before talking with the child, reconfirming with the other parent visiting arrangements